Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Obedience over Sacrifice

“The preparations of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. …Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. … A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” –Proverbs 16:1, 3, 9

 Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.” –Psalm 37:5

 “So Samuel said: ‘Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams." -1 Samuel 15:22

“‘Thus says the Lord of hosts: ‘Let your hands be strong, you who have been hearing in these days these words by the mouth of the prophets, who spoke in the day the foundation was laid for the house of the Lord of hosts, that the temple might be built.” –Zechariah 8:9

 “What if I ask you to stay here until July?" (Wait, woah that can be a thing) My response, in all honesty, is that would be hard. Just when I thought I had let it go, I had picked it right back up again. I thought I was at a place of trusting the Lord completely, but I quickly realized that my mind was closed off on any other options and I was holding onto my desire. My heart is in Cambodia, but I also am here, right now. The people of Whitefish, Montana need Jesus just as much as Castle Rock, Colorado and Cambodia. Yes, things will come to pass, Lord willing, but my heart needs to be here where the Lord has me now.
I remember Pastor Dave pointing me to Proverbs 16, especially verse nine, before I left for Montana. It didn’t fully hit me until now. “A man’s heart plans his ways, but the Lord directs his steps.” Since being here, I have seen that being played out…and it’s hard, it’s a lot of dying to self, but it’s so beautiful. I am truly grateful the Lord directs my steps. Where would I be without these lessons He is teaching me along the way?
What I’ve found in myself is that I was doing in order to get. Everything was ritual in a sense, a check mark in a box. I knew I needed to come here, so done, I’m here, Lord, take me to the next step. I sacrificed being around my family and friends for this, isn’t that good enough, God? NO. Wrong. It is not good enough. I needed to be coming and doing out of obedience as 1 Samuel 15:22 says and because of my love for the Lord.
Zechariah chapter eight verse nine reads, “‘Thus says the Lord of hosts: ‘Let your hands be strong, you who have been hearing in these days these words by the mouth of the prophets, who spoke in the day the foundation was laid for the house of the Lord of hosts, that the temple might be built.” In light of future promises, get back to work! Because of all the things the Lord is going to do, it should get me excited for the work right now. The temple was the focus then, in order to have Jerusalem, “the Holy City of the future”. The focus needed to be on the work before them, just as much as my focus needs to be on the work before me.
I must commit my works and plans to the Lord [always], trust in Him and His perfect timing [always], and He will do the rest. Lord, I give it all to you with open hands. Whether Your timing is in January 2016 or July 2016 or whatever else may come about, Lord I trust and know You know what is best. What is six more months, if that is what You call me to, in the grand scheme of things? I don’t want anything that is outside of Your will. Take it all, give me an obedient heart, and may I go on serving in this ministry here and serving the people here to the fullest extent, because I know this is where You’ve called me now and because I love You, Lord.
Obedience > Sacrifice
Lord, I go because I love YOU. I go because You have
called me. I go out of obedience.
Photo Credit: Caitlyn Coy
 

Monday, September 28, 2015

Solemn Silence


"Solemn”- formal and dignified, serious, or characterized by deep sincerity

 "The righteousness of the upright will deliver them, but the unfaithful will be caught by their lust." -Proverbs 11:6

 “Lust”- (can be) a passionate desire for something

 "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much." -Luke 16:10

I have been in Whitefish, Montana for three weeks now in quite the uncomfortable situation.

 “Uncomfortable”- causing or feeling unease or awkwardness

 I am the new girl in a sense. I am working in an office. I am cleaning a church. I am growing up in a sense ("but I want to stay in Neverland," says my flesh). As I am living with these wonderful girls, it is taking time for me to open up and I feel like there is nowhere to turn. {Alone.} As I work in a quiet office, there is a lot of silence and working on my own. {Alone.} As I clean the church, I am by myself for eight hours. {Alone.} I eat most of my meals by myself. {Alone.} I am in solitude and I am discovering that I need it, it's a gift.
A little reminder as I mop the church.
One sunny day, working in the office, I was putting send stickers on 1,000 letters and sealing them, alone. The process did take me the eight hour day. I found myself going through the motions of the task at hand, but my thoughts were wandering. I was longing for Colorado, my family, my friends, and the ministry I was doing there. I was longing for Cambodia, the people there, and the work going on there. I found myself lusting after different seasons. I was being faithful in the work, but not faithful in my mind and heart. And that's when God kind of shook me. In that moment, I asked for forgiveness and I moved forward in praying for the people and ministry back "home", praying for the people and ministry here, and praying for Cambodia and the ministry there. I listened to several sermons and worship songs. And I thanked God for the now and what He had me doing in that moment. I really do need to be more thankful for such a time as this. The past has come and gone, the future isn't even guaranteed, but the present is where I'm at now, it's a gift.


Folding, sticking, and sealing thousands of letters to be
sent to PFM sponsors.
From that moment, I've been noticing how much the Lord wants me to just seek Him and rely on Him. He has given me these moments of solitude so I can pray, confide in Him, hear from Him, and make Him my comfort. “Tarry not for an opportunity to have more time alone with Me. … Our time together is like a garden full of flowers, whereas the time you give to things is as a field full of stubble.” (“Come Away My Beloved…And Rest” Frances J. Roberts) I can't miss out on these opportunities to be able to seek Him more by myself, not everyone gets that luxury. I get to use my hands and feet physically and I get to spend time with the Lord at the same time, for hours on end! I am also thankful for the small, but divine moments the Lord has given me with some people here. But I know as of now I get to clean and sit in an office in solemn silence, but grow in the Lord and hear from Him. {Alone. Yet not at all.}
Every Friday morning I get to look forward to assisting with the
children at Selah Fellowship in something called "Tiny Tots".
Parents can come and fellowship, while the kids get to
play, have a snack, and sing songs.

Monday, September 14, 2015

For He Cares For You


Home Sweet Home

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” -1 Peter 5:6-7

I sit here looking out three small windows in the corner of this beautiful house I get to live in for the next three months. Cars drive by, kids are walking to school, and Selah Fellowship and the Potter’s Field office is across the street. It’s day six, I bought groceries for the first time for myself on day one, and I’m working in an office (I’m not about that office life, it’s not something I enjoy or feel is my calling). All things I knew before I came, but I still don’t like it. I don’t like drastic change, unless it’s to my hair (and that’s only sometimes). I’m selfish. I’m wicked. I’m prideful. And right now I’m not so happy. I will say I am happy to see my family up here and I’m happy to serve, actually I’m beyond happy, I’m ecstatic to be able to help where the need is and learn about PFM, but I miss Colorado, the people there, and my life there…in other words comfort. Guess what, Britt, you’re not called to be comfortable! Funny…I knew that before I left, yet in the midst of it, it’s hard…I’m letting my flesh win.
Missing the comforts of “home” and being anxious for the new is not trusting in the Lord and His purposes. There is a season for everything. Yes, I’m sad, I miss people, but I have nothing to fear. All these people here are like family, they care and are right here with me. And the best part is, God cares and knows exactly what I need to grow in. He is and should always be my comfort. Everything I’ve heard and read in God’s word these past few days have been exactly what I needed to hear. And God’s past faithfulness requires my present trust. I will rejoice in the shadow of His wings. I also know that I need to be humbled. A lot of us tend to forget verse six in 1 Peter chapter five and just look at verse seven (me being one of them), when both are one sentence, it is a continued thought. I must humble myself before the Lord, surrendering my burdens and well, everything to Him, and in turn He will exalt me in due time. This, now, is the humbling stage, the trying stage, am I going to lay myself down, submit to the Lord, and remember and trust in Him and His ways? I desire and see the Lord guiding me in being in a leadership position in Cambodia, but that can’t happen until I learn and am humbled. He will exalt me in due time.

I am reminded of my last ROOTS (young adults) meeting at Calvary Castle Rock going over Romans 5. Verses three and four read, “And not only that, but we glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.” It is so incredible when the Lord gives you something, right when you need it, because He is always on time. This season is going to be and already is trying. Am I going to humble myself, persevere, rejoice, and remember Christ through all of it? Despite the hardship, I’m thankful I’m not called to be comfortable.


Praying over Christa with Izzy, who was in Cambodia with me, Pastor Michael Rozell, Pastor Steve
Venable, and Pastor Steve Miller. Christa is overseeing the end time of the interns in Cambodia,
while Anna is on furlough for a few weeks. The fact that I was here for this, is incredible.
Photo Credit: Potter's Field Ministries

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Thankful for Such a Time as This

I sit here in my living room, sipping on a cream soda, reflecting on all that the Lord has done. When I returned to Colorado in May, my emotions were on a high. I was happy to see my family and friends, but I was sadder because I had just left my Khmer family and my IGNITE class. I honestly didn’t want to be back. Besides the fact of my family and friends and completing the IGNITE program, my thoughts were, “I have nothing keeping me here.” Yet, I knew the Lord was going to have me here for a season. And what a wonderful, blessed season it has been!


It started off really difficult, I was just kind of on my own and in another waiting period. I was frustrated and I felt like I didn’t have a place here. As time went on, I was given more and more tasks and I was getting plugged in at church again. The Lord was changing my heart, teaching me lessons, and using me in ways that I still don’t understand.
Photo Credit: Natalie Garrett
As what I was tasked with began to unfold for the summer, I fell in love with the ministry and the people I have had the honor of serving alongside (putting aside the fact that they were already my friends). The Lord put me through situations, testing my trust in Him with my family (again).

It’s beautiful that the Lord reminds me time and time again, that it isn’t me, but all Him, and I must trust Him! God surrounded me with friends and mentors, old and new; brothers and sisters in Christ, that encouraged and blessed me this whole season. And I pray, despite new seasons beginning for all of us, that we can stay connected in such a way as this, although I know it will be different. I am just blessed to know that it’s Christ that connects us.

We ended our summer with cliff jumping at Paradise Cove and a bonfire. As we were seated around the fire, snacking on pizza and watermelon, guitars strummed, voices sang to our Creator, and I couldn’t help but bask in the moment. Mesmerized by the flames, I thought, “I am thankful for such a time as this.” A time that I am never going to get back. It may be manifested in a different way in the future, but it will never be the same. And I was taken back to the closing season in Cambodia, when I realized that same thing. As I continue on this journey the Lord has for me, each season has its gifts.  I see now, in those moments when time slows down and you’re surrounded by those you call family, you can’t take it back, you can’t recreate it, you can just seek the Lord and rejoice in it. Eucharisteo.















Monday, August 31, 2015

Same, Same, but Different

Psalm 31:24 “Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”
The best send off I've ever had from my wonderful Khmer family.
I read this very same verse and chapter on March 31st while I was still in Cambodia. I had already read my daily reading, so He took me to Psalm 31. We had about a week left on the field and I just needed His comfort. Little did I know, I would be reading this very chapter in my daily reading and in a similar position now as I was then. Now, I have about a week left until I go to Montana. Same, same, but different. I would say the emotions were on a much higher level in Cambodia than they are now, because then I had no idea if I would ever see the people again (on earth). But my family is here and friends that I’ve had almost my whole life…my roots are here. Lord willing, I will see everyone here again (laying aside the fact I should be back for Christmas); it’s not as emotional as leaving Cambodia. Yet, it is still very difficult for me. Every time I leave a place where my heart is at, it’s like ripping off a Band-Aid. Yesterday, when I read this chapter, I was letting my emotions take the lead, instead of my hope in the Lord. I’m just in awe of Him and how He works. The fact that I read the very same chapter in a similar situation, just at different times is incredible. He knew I needed to be reminded of what He showed me those many months ago. I must be of good courage and hope in the Lord and He will strengthen my heart. The Lord IS my strength and hope! I am so grateful for learning this lesson again and as I leave and begin this new journey I will look to the Lord, because He is my everything. 
A rockin' goodbye party from these cool cats I call family, which
included a piñata! ;)




Monday, August 24, 2015

A Stepping Stone

Once the Lord placed it on my heart to return to Cambodia, I began to take steps as to how and when that would be. I contacted Potter’s Field and communicated with them. I was told I needed to come to Montana first to get a fuller understanding of the ministry, which is wise and understandable. I wasn’t a big fan of this idea at first. I just wanted to hurry up and go to Cambodia. I didn’t want any delays…all selfish thinking. As I sought the Lord, He softened my heart and showed me that Montana is a step I need to take before returning to Cambodia. He reminded me of Paul in the book of Acts. The Lord had many stops for Paul, all of which He grew him and had many lessons for him, before bringing him to Rome. I already see a lesson in this and I’m not even there yet: Montana will not be the same without my IGNITE class, it won’t be the same with what I am doing or how I am going to live. And Cambodia will not be the same without the team I had, I won’t be living in the same location, the tasks will be different, I will be surrounded by different people, and I will be in a different position. Besides the fact of needing to learn more about PFM, I don’t think I would be able to handle such differences if I just went straight to Cambodia. That’s a lesson I need to learn beforehand. The Lord knows exactly what I need to grow in. Montana is a stepping stone towards where the Lord is leading me.

Through all of this, if I ever doubted this is where the Lord is leading (Montana, Cambodia, and all), He has shown me otherwise. I was blessed with a letter and a donation from an anonymous friend. I was able to speak to my Pastor, receive his support, and be able to share at all four of the services to gain awareness, prayer, and potentially financial support. I had a table with more information and pictures and even proceeds from the café went to me. The support that I got just from that weekend was incredible! The Lord is using others and bringing support in ways that just continuously blow my mind and bring me to tears of joy! Although I am sad to leave Colorado, I am ready to begin this new journey! I know the Lord is going to continue to work on my heart as I head out to Montana and I am excited for the lessons He is going to have for me and the preparation for what’s to come later. I leave for Montana September 8th and I return to Colorado December 22nd for Christmas with my family. Returning to Cambodia is still unknown, but God will reveal that in His perfect timing!

The information table I was able to put together with tools and resources the Lord allowed me to have.

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

“But I Trust in the Lord That I Myself Shall Also Come Shortly”

Friday June 12th, 2015

Then David and all Israel played music before God with all their might, with singing, on harps, on stringed instruments, on tambourines, on cymbals, and with trumpets.”  -1 Chronicles 13:8

“Now Hiram king of Tyre sent messengers to David, and cedar trees, with masons and carpenters, to build him a house. So David knew that the Lord had established him as king over Israel, for his kingdom was highly exalted for the sake of His people Israel.” -1 Chronicles 14:1-2

“Therefore I hope to send him at once, as soon as I see how it goes with me. But I trust in the Lord that I myself shall also come shortly.” –Philippians 2:23-24
         I am speechless right now. Worship, the very thing we can give God, because He is so worthy. Upon reading verse eight of 1 Chronicles 13, my mind flashed to April 1st, 2015, our last Bible class in Khrang Thnong. The children’s voices danced in my mind as they lifted up praises to their King in the Khmer language. “Kuh-me-in dee nah dile kinyom jaang tdoe. Kuh-me-in dee nah dile kinyom jaang tdoe. Kuh-me-in dee nah dile kinyom jaang tdoe. Krrow be kdeye srah line drohng, knong kdeye srah line drohng…” No place I’d rather be, than here in Your love…They were worshipping in such a genuine way and with all their hearts. Beautiful. 1 Chronicles 14 seemed to have a lot on confirmation. The Lord used King Hiram to send messengers to David and he knew he was to be king over Israel. David inquired of God later on and He spoke. The Lord always speaks, whether it be yes, no, or wait. Right now I’m in that grapple of a waiting period and the struggle is real. But it is for a reason, everything is for a reason. God is growing me in faith and trust and even so, through my faithlessness He is faithful (“If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.” -2 Timothy 2:13)! Wow. Yet, the Lord is speaking through this wait, even in those chapters I read today (“For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.” –Hebrews 4:12). Which leads me to Philippians chapter two, which is a fantastic chapter all around, but what really got me was verse 24 (“But I trust in the Lord that I myself shall also come shortly.”). There’s a rockin’ team in Cambodia already. -Paul sent Timothy to Philippi. Now, I am no Paul, I am nothing, I am of no use to God, yet He desires to use me and I desire to follow His call (“Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?’ Then I said, ‘Here am I! Send me.’” –Isaiah 6:8)! Verses 24 in Philippians 2 leads me to believe I am to go back to Cambodia. As I read it, I was flooded with comfort…I in no way have the finances to go back, but I trust God. He will provide in His time. I need not worry. He is in control. It’s crazy how these three verses are so different, yet the Lord linked them together so nicely! He brought to memory a very intimate point while on the field (1 Chronicles 13:8). He led me to see an act of confirmation and seeking of the Lord (1 Chronicles 14:1-2). And He brought me to this statement in Philippians 2 that I believe, was entirely for me to hear… “But I trust in the Lord that I myself shall also come shortly.”
        Through this, I am learning to stay in the here and now. After all, I am not guaranteed tomorrow and as long as I am on this earth, I just desire to do His will (“whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.’” –James 4:14-15). I am breathing because of Him. I am learning to also pray specifically. Praying in such a way, according to the will of God of course, leaves no room for me to possibly take credit/glory for what is the work of God. It is His work all along, but I don’t want any possible way for me to think I have a hand in anything. But even through my foolish prayers, which prayer is the very thing I can do…the Spirit intercedes for me and that blows my mind (“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.” –Romans 8:26-27)!
So I know what the Lord has placed on my heart and I know what He has spoken thus far, but today… I don’t know the timing of my return to Cambodia, but I trust in Him and His perfect timing! Lord I believe, help my unbelief. In the meantime, I want to daily seek to follow as the Spirit leads.
 
What I just shared with you is something the Lord spoke to me almost two months ago. I waited to share, because I didn't think it was the right time to share. To this day, August 5th, 2015, I still do not know my return to Cambodia. But the Lord is guiding in my next steps, which I know will lead to Cambodia. I need a lot of growing before I return...in ways that I don't even know yet. I will be sharing soon on what has come about and the journey I am about to embark on...Stay tuned! :)

Monday, May 25, 2015

An Ambassador for Christ


 “Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.” -2 Corinthians 5:20

This world is a dark place and we are in a battle, but the war is already won, we are fighting through the victory not for it. It has been hard being home. I miss my class, I miss White Girls Yum Bye, and I long for Cambodia and the kids’ hugs and my family there. It is a constant feeling of pressure coming from all sides…like walls are closing in on me…like I’m walking against a strong wind or swimming upstream. It’s a fight for a breath of fresh air. But God’s word says, “Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it” (Matthew 7:13-14). Things are going to be hard. This season is a hard one for me…but this verse, 2 Corinthians 5:20 came up in my devotions a few days ago and I couldn’t help but think ‘no wonder I’m uncomfortable, it’s because I’m not home’...and we aren’t called to be comfortable in this crazy life.
 
            The definition of an ambassador is an accredited diplomat sent by a country as its official representative to a foreign country or a person who acts as a representative or promoter of a specified activity. I am an ambassador for Christ. Let me say that again…an AMBASSADOR for CHRIST. I am a foreigner to this land. This land being this world; earth. My true home is with my King in heaven. Everywhere I go is a mission field and just another opportunity to point people to Jesus. Souls are getting lost every day without the knowledge of the one true Savior. I don’t know about you, but that hurts my heart. I have been blessed with the knowledge of my Savior, so now I must go forth and tell the world about Him. I am His representative, my life must scream Jesus. He desires a relationship with each one of us and it takes those to inform and you to decide if you want that relationship. “I have decided to follow Jesus. No turning back, no turning back.” I am wrecked for Jesus, but in the best way possible. This season of my life may be difficult, but I need to focus on those around me that need to know Jesus.

Jesus first, others second, myself last.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Remember


1 Samuel 7:12 “Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen, and called its name Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’”

      My time in Cambodia was nothing that I expected, but that’s because God’s way is higher than mine and I wouldn’t have it any other way. That moment in my life was a gift, it was a pearl. I won’t have a time ever again as I did there, but now I go forth with this Ebenezer stone (“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen and called its name Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” -1 Samuel 7:12), a stone of remembrance, and continue living on doing what it is the Lord desires for my life. I am simply a vessel and nothing more. The work is continuing on in Cambodia and it’s only the beginning.

Re-entry was a blessing to meet up with my fellow classmates, but the Lord has me back in Colorado now. I don’t know what’s next, but I do know I am here for a reason, so I will be all here. I’m excited to see what He does in these next two months in and through me. And as I continue on, I will collect my Ebenezer stones and remember that the Lord has helped me thus far.

 

Friday, April 3, 2015

Week 25 IBS Psalm 31:24 ~Hope~


April 3rd, 2015

Psalm 31:24 “Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord.”

            On March 31st, I had a terrible evening, not physically, but emotionally. I felt super annoyed and angry and upset, that I wanted to cry, but I just couldn’t. I just wanted people to stop talking about us leaving. I wanted everyone to just freeze and let it be. Can’t we just live and when it comes to the day we leave we can talk about it then? Well that’s reality…we are leaving and of course people are going to talk about it. It just hurts sometimes. That night, I decided to read Psalm 31 and I was immediately brought to tears…tears of joy. God used that entire chapter that night to speak to me. I was letting my emotions drive me rather than the Lord drive me. I am a sinner and I am broken, but He is my rock, and my everything, I must hope in Him. I am saved by His grace, I need to be thinking of that and of Him and be rejoicing in Him. “I will be glad and rejoice in Your mercy, for you have considered my trouble; you have known my soul in adversities” (Psalm 31:7).

            God knows. He knows exactly what I’m going through and how I feel. But I cannot be driven by emotions. It’s not about emotion, or the people, or the relationships, or even the ministry, it’s about God and furthering His Kingdom. The people I meet and the relationships I make along the way are just the blessings God gives me. Which is amazing, but it all is ultimately Him. Not only should my hope be in the Lord, but my hope IS THE LORD. So anytime I feel my emotions taking over and driving my attitude, I will pray. I need to remember to be of good courage, because He strengthens me, He strengthens my heart, if I place my hope in Him. So I will look to Him and know that He is in control. My hope is the Lord.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Week 24 IBS Joshua 4:7 & Acts 7:51 ~Forgotten~


March 25th, 2015

Joshua 4:7 “Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.”

Acts 7:51 “’You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit; as your fathers did, so do you.”

            March 23rd, 2015, I felt burnt out and drained and I let it get to me. I got to the point of complaining about work that I needed to get done, such as finishing our last overview video to IBS. I felt like it was getting in the way of just being in Cambodia. That night, sitting with Kaylee on a bench in the courtyard, something she said was (is) so true… “Don’t let it become a routine.” Just watching some of the youth leave their evening English class and letting it sink in, that’s when the conviction came. The Lord brought to mind all the Scripture I have been reading from Exodus to Numbers. God brought the Israelites out of the land of Egypt, He saved them; He did so much for them. Yet, while going through the wilderness they complained about the manna, turned to worship a golden calf, and just straight up disobeyed God. They had forgotten… forgotten. They forgot what the Lord did for them and what He took them out of. And that’s when I realized, I had forgotten. Forgotten what this is really all about, God. I let drowsiness turn to sin and my perspective changed, becoming bitter. How could I? …IBS is one of the best things here, God always speaks so deeply and profoundly and I get to share it with you all. The video is completed as of yesterday and I love it; it says so much more than anyone will ever fully understand! And that’s just it, because it is all God. I get to share with the world the work God has allowed me and my teammates to do through Potter’s Field Ministries! I get to do all these things.

            So through surrendering that to the Lord and thanking Him for that conviction, the next morning (yesterday), I read these passages in Joshua 4 and Acts 7. Taking the stones as “a memorial to the children of Israel forever.” God just helped the waters of the Jordan cease so they could cross over to get to Jericho. He told them to take the stones as a memorial. Then reading Acts 7, Stephan was recalling things from Abraham to Solomon and then got to verse 51, “’You stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears! You always resist the Holy Spirit; as your fathers did, so do you.” He was telling them they forgot…forgot. I couldn’t describe what was going through my mind reading these the morning after God brought that conviction, it was so cool. Their hearts were hardened even more and they stoned Stephan. So through this God showed me to not forget and to have a proper perspective, eyes set on Him. And because of His love and grace, He brings that conviction and reminds us. How incredible is my Lord to remind me, even when I forget? And God asked me, “Brittani, are you going to let your heart harden even more and have the wrong perspective or are you going to change your perspective and do something about it? …Do something about it.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Week 23 IBS Deuteronomy 26:11, 27:9 & Acts 1:8


March 21st, 2015

Deuteronomy 26:11 “So you shall rejoice in every good thing which the Lord your God has given to you and your house, you and the Levite and the stranger who is among you.”

Deuteronomy 27:9 “Then Moses and the priest, the Levites, spoke to all Israel, saying, ‘Take heed and listen, O Israel: This day you have become the people of the Lord your God.”

Acts 1:8 “But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all of Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.’”

            Rejoice. Joy is a topic that I’ve always loved, especially because it’s only God that can bring the true joy. It’s just a matter of always looking to Him and honoring Him in all that you do. Lately it’s been hard to keep the joy, because I have been dwelling so much on emotions of leaving, seeing my class and so many pastors, and soon after that, my family. It’s bittersweet. But that’s where I was in the wrong, emotion…Running this life on emotion will burn you out. And I’ve come to realize that I lost my sight of Him and through that I’ve lost the joy. Every day it’s a surrender of those emotions, because I know that God is bigger and He’s faithful, and it’s all ultimately Him.

            Take heed and listen. That is crucial in your walk with God. God speaks always; He answers, whether it be “yes”, “no”, or “wait. It’s a matter of paying attention, taking note, and having a listening ear. He has the answers, look to Him. Trust Him. Once laying down those emotions, it makes it clearer to see His face and keep your eyes focused on Him. And that is a beautiful thing.

            He has the answers. Verse 7 of Acts chapter 1 says, “And He said to them, ‘It is not for you to know the times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority.” We don’t need to know everything. God does, so why worry? He’s in control. He has given us His Holy Spirit to be our guide as verse 8 says and we are to be His witnesses everywhere we go. That’s what I’ve been given and my job is to serve Him.

            Rejoice. Take heed. Listen. He has the answers. Trust Him.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Week 22 IBS Matthew 25:23 & Acts 2:42 ~It’s Only the Beginning~


March 10th, 2015

 “His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’” –Matthew 25:23
“And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.” –Acts 2:42

          Five months of digging it has been. A five months I would do all over again if it were for moments such as these I am about to share with you. Prayer is a powerful thing and it is the very thing we can do. This digging has not been a physical dig, but a spiritual one. A dig of constantly surrendering to the Lord, praying, and trusting that His will gets accomplished each and every day. It has been five months of pressing in so deep with the relationships God has allowed us to build here. It has been of simply being…a very difficult time indeed, but so growing.

          This past week, God’s faithfulness came forth. We started our first [more] official Bible class for the Feeding Program in Khrang Thnong. We were able to plan out a lesson, worship, and just make it fun and come to life for the kids. It was a beautiful moment. A moment that I will never forget. We couldn’t have done it at any point other than this past week. Other things needed to be in place beforehand and that’s why God’s timing is so amazing. Then, we were able to break bread with the youth boys that live on the church compound with us…with our little brothers. Ones that we’ve grown so close to, that we call “The Lost Boys” and they see us as big sisters. It was a beautiful time of worship, prayer, and communion…two different languages, ONE God. That evening was truly putting to place Acts 2:42.

A few days later we had Bible study with the youth girls…with our little sisters. Ones that we’ve grown so close to as well. A Bible study that has been in the making for at least three months now. It started off with one of the girls asking me to teach her Bible one day after English class. I actually wrote about it when it happened. But after that first moment of me teaching it has been a struggle of getting it going. I learned to just give it over to the Lord and know that if it’s of Him, it will come together in His timing…and it did. After a few hours of cleaning the church with these girls, we came together and read His word. Kaylee lead it and went through Ephesians 1:1-6, verse by verse. The Spirit was so present there, we were all lost for words. We ended our time with sitting in a circle, holding hands, and praying. It was just another moment of two different languages, ONE God.

Really, truly, be faithful over the little things and God will bring forth bigger things for you to take on, through Him. I think we finally hit the treasure after all that digging, it’s a start and it’s only the beginning…

Friday, March 6, 2015

Week 21 IBS - 1 Timothy 1:14-17


March 7th, 2015

1 Timothy 1:14-17 “And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus. This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief. However for this reason I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show all longsuffering, as a pattern to those who are going to believe on Him for everlasting life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, to God who alone is wise, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.”

            The evening Salt and Light school we get to assist in teaching English to the village children, is now having the teachers do a short Bible lesson once a week with their students. It is a really neat opportunity for all the teachers who are Christian to share God’s light with the community of Khrang Thnong. All of the teachers are Christian, except for one. I have mentioned her before, but I have not ceased to pray for her. Yesterday, I was given the opportunity to share with the students from the word of God. At first I was going to read from John chapter 10 verses 27-30 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of my hand. My Father who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father’s hand. I and My Father are one.’” But as I prayed more, God lead me to 1 Timothy 1:14-17. I was just crying out to God, desiring to not only have words from Him to speak to the children, but to speak to this wonderful teacher as well. I really wanted to be pointing to Jesus and the cross. When it came time for classes to start, I prayed and then I began to share. It was hard to tell things because of two different languages and translation, so I was slightly discouraged at the end. But after I closed in prayer and sat down watching the kids prepare to take a test, I realized what had just happened doesn’t return void. A Buddhist girl was holding the TRUE Word of God in her hands, His Word was shared, and now it’s in the Lord’s hands and I trust Him. Yesterday was a difficult day because it was the exact mark for one month left here in Cambodia, but in that moment the Lord showed me to press in even deeper. Yes, leaving is going to be hard…probably one of the hardest things I will ever do, but that moment of sharing His word was what God gave me for that day. I want to take what He’s given me today and sprint, go so deep, pour out EVERYTHING the Lord has poured into me, so that all that people are left with is Him…because what it all comes down to is the Lord.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Broken Khmer


My heart literally meltedYesterday after church, I found Nhel and Srey Leam just sitting in the tuk tuk parked below our balcony, so I went over to talk to themwell talk to them as best as I could with broken Khmer. As the conversation went on, they asked me when I was going back to America. I told them April 6th and that I would miss them when I go. Nhel said he would miss me toothats the first hit to the heart. Then, they asked me if I was coming back. I told them I dont know and that Im praying. Srey Leams response was, I will pray for Brittani to come back! (Of course in Khmer) and that was the second hit. My heart just hurthurt thinking about leaving these wonderful children and people. I love them, I love Cambodia. But I know God is in control. He has those two kiddos in His hands, He has Cambodia in His hands, and He has my future in His hands. What a wonderful life

Saturday, February 28, 2015

Week 20 IBS John 4:34


February 28th, 2015

John 4:34 “Jesus said to them, ‘My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work.”

            As I read this chapter this morning, above the lagoon in what would be our “backyard”, I was listening to “Your Glory” by All Sons and Daughters. The lyrics go as follows, “My life is Yours. My hope is in You only and my heart You hold, cuz You make this sinner holy…Cuz Your glory is so beautiful. I fall onto my knees in awe. And the heartbeat of my life is to worship in Your light, cuz Your glory is so beautiful.” That has literally been my anthem for this time. It has been a constant surrendering of self, a constant surrendering of my life, of my future, my family, and just everything. God has showed me certain things, for example the many verses of selling items I wrote about last week, but it ultimately comes back to God. I am here to do HIS will, not my own. I am here to do the work of Matthew 28:19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit”. And wherever He takes me, I desire to do just that and further His Kingdom.

            This verse specifically though, speaks a lot. Our physical bodies need food, but Jesus had other works to do in the time for His Father. The question is what is my priority? Who is first in my life? He is number one in my life. He is above all else. All I want to do is the will of my Lord. I know I’ve said that a lot in my previous posts, but it’s true. It has really been a daily surrendering of my desires and looking to His face. I know He will open or close doors and He will lead. I just need to ask for a constant outpouring of His Spirit and keep my eyes fixed upon Him.

Lord, it’s You above all else. Truly “my life is Yours and my hope is in You only…because YOUR glory is so beautiful”.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Week 19 IBS Luke 18:22, 19:8, 21:3-4 ~Sell All That You Have~


February 22nd, 2015

Luke 18:22 “So when Jesus heard these things, He said to him, ‘you still lack one thing. Sell all that you have and distribute to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.’”

Luke 19:8 “Then Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord, I give half of my goods to the poor; and if I have taken anything from anyone by false accusation, I restore fourfold.’”

Luke 21:3-4 “So He said, ‘truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all; for all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had.’”

            This was the theme for the week...sell all that you have, give to the poor, and give to God. Before reading the first verse, the night before I couldn’t sleep and all the items I have in my room back at home kept coming to mind. All the items that are still boxed up because my family moved right before I started IGNITE. All the items that I literally haven’t thought about the whole time being away until that night. Items that I clearly don’t need. Items that can break or get lost or eventually wither away. Items that essentially do not matter…items that I can sell.

As God has told me to just be satisfied in His presence and to continue giving Him my desires with open hands, knowing that His will is going to get accomplished, I don’t know what the future plans are for me. I am praying for specific things and I know God is going to guide me and make things clear in His perfect timing, but this is what He’s given me right now. I’m not sure exactly what that is going to look like, what is to happen, or even why God put that on my heart, but that’s the beauty of it all…God knows! My treasure lies in heaven, so those items mean nothing. My thought now though, is I’m away from it all, of course I don’t think it to be that difficult. But I know when I get home, it will be very hard, but when that time comes I need to look back at this.

Brittani, I’m writing this to your future-self, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Luke 12:34). Remember what God spoke to you this week in Cambodia. Remember that although it’s hard, it’s just items. This is taking a leap of faith and God will guide you from there. Remember to trust in Him and to stay out in faith as well. But right now, I’m going to continue in prayer and give all I got in this time. God has given me today, what a blessing!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Week 18 IBS Leviticus 22:29 & Luke 12:33-34


February 11th, 2015

 Leviticus 22:29 “And when you offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the Lord, offer it of your own free will.”

Luke 12:33-34 “Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens which does not fail, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

            Free will. I chose, Lord, I chose You. I want to offer all to You, God. Every ounce of myself is Yours. You gave me so much, it is the least I can do. Every day it is necessary to speak these words and to offer myself up to the Lord and with that comes a prayer for humility and an emptying of self. God, all I want is to do your will. I have these thoughts and ideas and desires for my next steps. But I always go back to what God showed me a few weeks ago, to give those things to Him with open hands and say, “here You are, Lord, let Your will be done. You will open or close doors. And You will reveal things to me in Your perfect timing. Thank You, God, that You are in control.”

            My heart is literally torn in two. I miss my family at home, but I can’t bear to think of April 6th, the day Kaylee and I leave. I don’t know what God is going to have for me next. I want to see my family, but I want to come back with my family here. All I know is it is in the Lord’s hands and my true joy is in Him. And that’s where the treasure comes in. I want all my strength to be serving Him, giving Him glory, and looking towards my true home, heaven. And ultimately it is Him that gives me that strength. Everything here is temporary, I have eternity with my King to look forward to! No matter where I am at here on earth, I know I will ALWAYS have God and I will have the joy of going to be with Him and the hope of the return of Jesus. So, regardless where He takes me, I know He will give me peace, and I have the bliss of my true home to look onward to.