Monday, September 28, 2015

Solemn Silence

"Solemn”- formal and dignified, serious, or characterized by deep sincerity

 "The righteousness of the upright will deliver them, but the unfaithful will be caught by their lust." -Proverbs 11:6

 “Lust”- (can be) a passionate desire for something

 "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much." -Luke 16:10

I have been in Whitefish, Montana for three weeks now in quite the uncomfortable situation.

 “Uncomfortable”- causing or feeling unease or awkwardness

 I am the new girl in a sense. I am working in an office. I am cleaning a church. I am growing up in a sense ("but I want to stay in Neverland," says my flesh). As I am living with these wonderful girls, it is taking time for me to open up and I feel like there is nowhere to turn. {Alone.} As I work in a quiet office, there is a lot of silence and working on my own. {Alone.} As I clean the church, I am by myself for eight hours. {Alone.} I eat most of my meals by myself. {Alone.} I am in solitude and I am discovering that I need it, it's a gift.
A little reminder as I mop the church.
One sunny day, working in the office, I was putting send stickers on 1,000 letters and sealing them, alone. The process did take me the eight hour day. I found myself going through the motions of the task at hand, but my thoughts were wandering. I was longing for Colorado, my family, my friends, and the ministry I was doing there. I was longing for Cambodia, the people there, and the work going on there. I found myself lusting after different seasons. I was being faithful in the work, but not faithful in my mind and heart. And that's when God kind of shook me. In that moment, I asked for forgiveness and I moved forward in praying for the people and ministry back "home", praying for the people and ministry here, and praying for Cambodia and the ministry there. I listened to several sermons and worship songs. And I thanked God for the now and what He had me doing in that moment. I really do need to be more thankful for such a time as this. The past has come and gone, the future isn't even guaranteed, but the present is where I'm at now, it's a gift.

Folding, sticking, and sealing thousands of letters to be
sent to PFM sponsors.
From that moment, I've been noticing how much the Lord wants me to just seek Him and rely on Him. He has given me these moments of solitude so I can pray, confide in Him, hear from Him, and make Him my comfort. “Tarry not for an opportunity to have more time alone with Me. … Our time together is like a garden full of flowers, whereas the time you give to things is as a field full of stubble.” (“Come Away My Beloved…And Rest” Frances J. Roberts) I can't miss out on these opportunities to be able to seek Him more by myself, not everyone gets that luxury. I get to use my hands and feet physically and I get to spend time with the Lord at the same time, for hours on end! I am also thankful for the small, but divine moments the Lord has given me with some people here. But I know as of now I get to clean and sit in an office in solemn silence, but grow in the Lord and hear from Him. {Alone. Yet not at all.}
Every Friday morning I get to look forward to assisting with the
children at Selah Fellowship in something called "Tiny Tots".
Parents can come and fellowship, while the kids get to
play, have a snack, and sing songs.