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| Touring the Royal Palace with the beautiful IGNITE Class 11 Team Cambodia girls and amazing Anna Scott. I'm so excited to see what God has in store for us as a team! |
I have been back in the Kingdom of Cambodia for two and a
half weeks now! My soul is so overjoyed and full of peace! My flesh has been quite
the opposite…sad and selfish. I have found myself full circle, experiencing the
same things I experienced at the beginning of any new season, looking at what
others have and other seasons in my life. I miss a lot of people from all over,
I want to live in my home village of Khrang Thnong, and I miss the set role I
had in Guatemala, which included relationships with the people (PFM and locals)
and being able to speak the language…selfish. That role took time, the Spanish speaking
took time, the relationships took time; God established it.
>>
I
was looking at what I don’t have, rather than rejoicing with what I do have.<<
Since being back, I have been reflecting on the moment I was
told I was returning to Cambodia to now. I was thrilled beyond belief, just in
awe of the Lord’s favor, but I was also a bit sad because I had set my mind and heart on being in Guatemala longer. I went back
and read my journal entry from the day I was told I was most likely going to
stay in Guatemala, I wrote: “I know I’m called to Cambodia someday, but
whatever the need is, I’m there. So I’m most likely staying through Class 12! I
wasn’t holding onto Cambodia in October, nor
should I hold onto this.” Unknowingly, I held onto it…
{Never hold onto so tightly or have your heart set so boldly on
something, because circumstances change in an instant, but hold onto and have
your heart set on the LORD, because He is unchanging.}
Cambodia was what I was waiting for so long, how in the
world am I battling this?! …Because my
heart was set on temporary things and not focused on God. “But seek first
the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added
to you.” –Matthew 6:33.
God
has given me such a beautiful GIFT…a FULFILLED PROMISE…
I shall not despise
the season I am in. He has had the girls teams located in Phnom Penh for a
reason and He has us here now for a reason. His ways are higher and He
is continually directing my steps
(Proverbs 16:9). I choose to be faithful with what He has given me in this
beautiful season. I choose to be valiant,
for one season has closed and another one has opened, one that is a testimony
of God’s
faithfulness and promises. It’s not going to be easy, but I will look
up and press on.
·
Valiant: possessing or showing courage or
determination.
“I am strong and full
of life. I am steadfast, no compromise. I lift my sails to the sky. I’m gonna
catch the wnid, I’m gonna catch the wind. I am bold, no fear inside. Spread my
wings, open my life, like an eagle, whose home is the sky. I’m gonna catch the
wind, I’m gonna catch the wind. Your
faithfulness will never let me down. I’m confident I’ll see Your goodness now.
I know You hear my heart, I’m singing. There’s nothing that can stop Your
goodness now…” –‘Catch the Wind’: Jonathan David and Melissa Helser
Even through my fleshly battle and selfishness, God loves me
so much. He has shown me He cares about what is dear to my heart. He is
continually showing me His goodness. Last week, I was able to go watch a
soccer match that New Life Fellowship Khrang Thnong played in. They are the
Eagle FC and they are family. It has been a year and a half since I’ve seen them
and I was able to fellowship with them and watch them play. I was blessed
immensely. The following morning at church, I had really wanted to worship to a
powerful Khmer song by Life Band that is so dear to my heart from my field
time. I asked God if we could sing it soon, not really thinking that it would
be that day, and the closing song in the worship set was that very song…God
loves me so much, that He chooses to bless me with things I care about even
while I’m fleshly and selfish.
Upon arriving here, the Lord put a few verses on my heart
that I believe will carry me through this season to come. One of these verses
was the verse that the Lord used to speak to my teammate while we were on the
field here nearly two years ago and I love so much that God gave it to me now.
“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness
of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; be of good courage,
and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the LORD!” –Psalm 27:13-14 I
know I will see His goodness here…I already have, He brought me back! I wait on
the Lord in expectation and I’m excited to see what unfolds as I am here until
He moves me elsewhere.
God IS showing me His goodness. I must believe I will see it each day
in this land of the living.
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| Seeing family from my "hometown" here in Cambodia. Such a surreal moment that I will treasure forever. |
