Seek First the Kingdom

October 6th, 2017

The Lord has always put something on my heart to give back to Him and trust that He will fulfill it - from coming back to Potter’s Field after the IGNITE Program (which I have been back for two years and a month and a half now!), going back to Cambodia, to going back to Guatemala. Each time, the Lord placed it on my heart, speaking in different ways, and He confirmed it in different ways.

Today I find myself not in that position as the season has changed…I have left Guatemala and am in Montana for IGNITE Class 12’s re-entry. That I know is right where the Lord wants me right now!

As I’ve been searching, seeking, and praying, the Lord has given me nothing to run with…I’ve been frustrated and confused. My heart is in two and I don’t really know the fullness of where the Lord wants me or what He really wants me to do.

But this He has given me and convicted me in: where is my focus and investment?

1 Kings 6:38-7:1 says, “And in the eleventh year, in the month of Bul, which is the eighth month, the house was finished in all its details and according to all its plans. So he was seven years in building it. But Solomon took thirteen years to build his own house; so he finished all his house.”

Seven years for the Lord vs thirteen years for Solomon’s own home. So much investment in praying for what is going to happen to ME vs investing, seeking, and getting to know the Lord more.

Haggai 1:9 says, “You looked for much, but indeed it came to little; and when you brought it home, I blew it away. Why?’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘Because of My house that is in ruins, while every one of you runs to his own house.”

The Lord showed me the lack I had of simply getting to know Him. He may not be speaking to me in ways like He has before or given me a “certain promise”, but He has been speaking to me to just draw closer to Him and to hold fast to the promises of HIS WORD. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” –Matthew 6:33

"The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore." -Psalm 121:8

Back to Guat

Last time I wrote was in January and I shared how the Lord answered some of my prayers. During that week of revival, I woke up one morning with a heart so heavy for Guatemala. Being in Cambodia and still with a strong desire to be there longer term, I didn't really know why Guatemala was so heavy on my heart, but I began to pray, and in Spanish (I’m not really sure why, but I felt led to pray in Spanish). I thanked the Lord that I know how to speak some Spanish and I asked that I would be able to go back to Guatemala some day and use that Spanish again.

Little did I know that a few hours later, my life would change once again. That day I found out that the Cambodia location would be taking a break from sending IGNITE interns for a season; a phasing out in order to come back and serve in a greater capacity (as the Lord would will). I found out that I would be able to go to Montana for a month to assist in IGNITE Class 11's Re-Entry. – That was one answered prayer. IGNITE Class 11 has a special place in my heart and I had been praying for a while that I would be able to see all of them again during their re-entry. Not many of the staff or 2.O interns get to say they’ve witnessed an IGNITE Class (outside of their own) walk through all phases of the program (minus the interns home service); what a privilege and blessing.

 

At IGNITE Class 11's Re-Commissioning.
// April 27th, 2017 //

I also found out… *drum roll* …that I would be going BACK TO GUATEMALA to serve in a similar capacity as I was before and R.A. for IGNITE Class 13! –The other answered prayer, and within a few hours’ time. I knew God wasn’t done with me serving in Guatemala when I woke up that day, but I didn’t know the fullness of what that meant and how soon it would be.

I’ve already walked out the answered prayer of being in Montana this past month. It truly was an honor and a blessing to be with Class 11 again, to have heard how their field time went, and to have seen all that the Lord is doing in Montana. Now, I’m walking in the midst of that prayer for Guatemala; I just arrived back a few days ago. It’s like coming home (as it would be when I go to Colorado, Montana, or Cambodia; which gets me excited for heaven).

My heart is still so much for the Kingdom of Cambodia and what the Lord is doing there in and through the Khmer people, but I know Guatemala is where I’m supposed to be in this season. God knows what He’s doing and He is always faithful. He takes me on twists and turns that I never expect, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, because I know I’m in the center of His will …

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9 

Back in Antigua, Guatemala.

A Week of Revival

“Sing to Him a NEW song; play skillfully with a shout of JOY.” –Psalm 33:3 (emphasis added)

You cannot pour new wine into old wineskins; a word spoken to me about a month ago… It wasn’t until January 22^nd that I searched for the reference of this. Although I have been dwelling on it since it was given to me, I’m not sure why I waited so long to look it up, but God’s timing is perfect in revealing this reference to me as He led me into this week…this week that brought revival to my soul.

Matthew 9:14-17 reads, “Then the disciples of John came to Him, saying, ‘Why do we and the Pharisees fast often, but Your disciples do not fast?’ And Jesus said to them, ‘Can the friends of the bridegroom mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them? But the days will come when the bridegroom will be taken away from them, and then they will fast. No one puts a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old garment; for the patch pulls away from the garment, and the tear is made worse. Nor do they put new wine into old wineskins, or else the wineskins break, the wine is spilled, and the wineskins are ruined. But they put new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”

Before this past week, everything in my walk with the Lord was bone dry for a while. God takes us through dry seasons from time to time, but this season stayed dry for me, because I lost heart. I wasn’t striving (in the good way) for the Lord. My lack of depth with Him flowed into the rest of my life and interactions with others…or no interactions rather. But grace and redemption…

I started this week with reading Psalm 33…”sing to Him a NEW song…” I may be back in Cambodia, but this season is new and He is doing something new. The old was good, the new is good too, but old and new do not mix, it brings destruction. Yet beyond that, to my walk with God, my eyes were opened: sing a new song to Him. SURGE. It’s like I was hit with a defibrillator. Revival. As the days went on, I walked through seeing the fear of the Lord, being brought to my knees; discovering that I was hungry and thirsty for more of Him.

“Then the lame shall leap like a deer, and the tongue of the dumb sing. For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness, and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water…” –Isaiah 35:6-7

Defibrillation. Revival. It was not the Lord, but ME - who lacked discipline.

{More of YOU and less of me. Jesus be the center of my life.}

Continuing day by day, strength was given to me and the joy of His salvation was being restored unto me (Psalm 51:10-12). If nothing else had occurred this past week, it wouldn’t have mattered, because I was being found in the Lord. I was getting lost in His presence and was being reminded that I’m only satisfied in Him. Yet, God chose to answer three of my prayers in an instant; a testimony that I will share at a later time.

As that week was coming to a close, God led me to Psalm 37. Verse 3 through the beginning of verse 7 says, “Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him…”

And that was what this week was. FEED on His faithfulness. DELIGHT in Him.

"Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land, and
feed on His faithfulness." -Psalm 37:3
Photo Credit: Zach Martinez