Friday, September 27, 2019

One Year

It was a year ago the other night that I landed back in Cambodia. God’s promises are yes and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20 (២ កូរិនថូស ១ : ២០)) I wish I could put into words how amazing God is and the love that He has for me (and for you if you are reading this.) One of my favorite questions to ask people when I interview them about something is, “if you could describe (fill in the blank) in one word, what would it be and why?” So, if I could describe this past year in one word, what would it be and why? It would be easy for me to pick a word like, “love,” “faithful,” “promises,” or “sweet,” because of God’s promises, love, and faithfulness or the sweet family I have here, but I would describe this past year as “learn.”

Although I will always be learning my whole life and I look forward to soaking up more of God’s word, learning about Him more, and how I can grow as a person, I have learned so much this past year that I believe will take me deeper into God’s calling for my life and my walk with Him. I have been learning both spiritual and practical things; what it is to be a leader, to be bold, to speak gently, to slow down, to fear the Lord and not man, how to budget, listening to and speaking the Khmer language, and so much more.

Over this season there have been some trials, but it’s in those valleys that the mountains come forth and honestly where the most growth occurs. God has taken me deeper and shown me the importance of walking with eyes only for Him, to glorify Him, and to not look to the left or right, but to press on toward the upward call. “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; but we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” -Psalm 20:7 “No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.”
-2 Timothy 2:4

This has been the longest I’ve been away from the US in one consecutive time and I haven’t been back in Colorado since June 2018. In the past, I would have a hard time leaving Cambodia because I just didn’t want to leave. I still don’t want to leave because I love my family here and this country so much, but this time it’s not going to be as hard; I know how much I will need this season coming up. I am really looking forward to seeing my family, resting, being able to process things, and see people I haven’t seen in a while. The enemy is definitely trying to attack with fear of not being able to come back. God has taken me through seasons of leaving often, but has brought me back every time (២ កូរិនថូស ១ : ២០); He is faithful, so I will not let Satan in! I’m eager to be rejuvenated and refreshed to come back to Cambodia soon and start a new season. See you shortly family and Colorado! See you later Cambodia!

Monday, October 1, 2018

Emotions Are Wavering

View from the girls' house at Potter's Field Ranch.

Emotions are so wavering, that’s why it’s so important to base our walk by faith, not feelings. As I look back at the beginning of July before IGNITE Class 15 came, I was so nervous and fearful. I was beginning a new role as the head girls’ RA and I knew I wasn’t capable. Sitting on the steps of the girls’ house at the new Potter’s Field Ranch, the Lord gave me Psalm 121:1-2, “I will lift my eyes to the hills – from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” In that moment, I looked up at the mountains surrounding the property, a sight that never got old, and God gave me peace. He was with me, He is with me. The past three months were a time of learning, preparation, and growth. It was a sweet season, one that I will cherish for a long time; IGNITE Class 15 has a special place in my heart…
IGNITE Class 15 and some Potter's Field staff.
Today, I am in the Kingdom of Cambodia. God’s promises are yes and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20). I have the honor and privilege of overseeing the team that will come in two weeks from IGNITE Class 15, as well as being the Potter’s Field liaison for Cambodia! I’ve been back for almost a week; a rollercoaster of emotions it has been. Emotions are so wavering. I traveled alone and left just before the last week of IGNITE Class 15’s training. I simply miss everyone from Montana and Colorado too. But, Jehovah Shammah, the Lord is there and is my Companion. Despite the sometimes tears, God has taken me back to that day on the steps of the girls’ house before the interns’ training - where does my help come from? My Companion.

With Team Cambodia IGNITE Class 15!
He has reminded me of HIS faithfulness of being there, of the army I have in Colorado, Montana, and here in Cambodia behind me and with me, as I am for them. I am reminded that He has brought me back to the land He promised my return (several times in fact), and I still got to be a part of the interns who got baptized the other day and their Commissioning through video calls! Yes, emotions are wavering, but do I stand on those? No way. I stand on my Rock and the One who is there!

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned. Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…”
-Isaiah 43:2-3 (emphasis added)

Sunday, February 25, 2018

God Moves When We Least Expect It

Winter in Montana.

A quiet season, Montana has been. I came back to the States expecting to just be, to just live, and to just help where the needs are - in MudMan and in Media. It is never a bad thing to desire; I hadn't any thoughts of anything else. As I wrote back in October - seek first the Kingdom.

Buy Local Serve Global.
Yet, I have seen the Lord use me in ways that I in myself cannot accomplish. {Glory be to God} Ways that I never would've expected, seeing how much I need to continuously feed on His Word, trust in His Spirit, and seek first His Kingdom. In the midst of working at MudMan and doing Media, I have been a girls house overseer.

The girls in the house I get to oversee.
Blinded by what was given to me, I still strove to make sure I had a place in this ministry, that I was accepted. I was run down by this. The Lord reminded me that I am firstly His daughter, to be just that, everything that comes after is a blessing He has given me to walk in. I was so sweetly reminded that I do have a place, to not strive to prove anything, that I do have a proven character by who the Lord has made me to be. In other words, to just be, seek first His Kingdom, and let the Holy Spirit use me. (I feel as though this has been a bunny trail in my writing, but I want others to know, the Lord has great plans for you, you don't need to try and prove anything, just seek Him and He will do the rest, when you least expect it...)

With a small part of the MudMan Crew.
When you least expect it...I didn't expect to be a girls house overseer when I came back to Montana, but the Lord did it. And with what's next, I didn't expect. The second week of March I will be traveling to Uganda, Africa to lead the IGNITE Class 14 girls team. And then I remembered. During my field time I had asked the Lord about leading a team of girls somewhere, so blessed by my leadership (and have applied such examples in my life today), I too wanted an opportunity to take those examples and lead in my own way as the Lord would lead.

Team Uganda Girls. (Left to right)
Me, Emily, Manon (who will be helping
me lead), Gabbi, & Kaydra.
Without really any other thought about leading a team, today I see the Lord fulfilling that desire that I had spoken with Him once about. And I see His ways of preparing me. From first coming back to the ministry, the severe humbling that needed to take place (and continual that is), to becoming an RA, to assisting in Cambodia, to a girls house overseer currently, now on to Uganda. The Lord knows the desires of our hearts. His ways are higher than ours. He moves when we least expect it. And He makes us ready, because right now, I feel as if I am not, but I know He is equipping me.

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Seek First the Kingdom

October 6th, 2017

The Lord has always put something on my heart to give back to Him and trust that He will fulfill it - from coming back to Potter’s Field after the IGNITE Program (which I have been back for two years and a month and a half now!), going back to Cambodia, to going back to Guatemala. Each time, the Lord placed it on my heart, speaking in different ways, and He confirmed it in different ways.

Today I find myself not in that position as the season has changed…I have left Guatemala and am in Montana for IGNITE Class 12’s re-entry. That I know is right where the Lord wants me right now!
As I’ve been searching, seeking, and praying, the Lord has given me nothing to run with…I’ve been frustrated and confused. My heart is in two and I don’t really know the fullness of where the Lord wants me or what He really wants me to do.

But this He has given me and convicted me in: where is my focus and investment?

1 Kings 6:38-7:1 says, “And in the eleventh year, in the month of Bul, which is the eighth month, the house was finished in all its details and according to all its plans. So he was seven years in building it. But Solomon took thirteen years to build his own house; so he finished all his house.”

Seven years for the Lord vs thirteen years for Solomon’s own home. So much investment in praying for what is going to happen to ME vs investing, seeking, and getting to know the Lord more.

Haggai 1:9 says, “You looked for much, but indeed it came to little; and when you brought it home, I blew it away. Why?’ says the Lord of hosts. ‘Because of My house that is in ruins, while every one of you runs to his own house.”

The Lord showed me the lack I had of simply getting to know Him. He may not be speaking to me in ways like He has before or given me a “certain promise”, but He has been speaking to me to just draw closer to Him and to hold fast to the promises of HIS WORD. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” –Matthew 6:33

"The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even forevermore." -Psalm 121:8

Monday, May 1, 2017

Back to Guat

Last time I wrote was in January and I shared how the Lord answered some of my prayers. During that week of revival, I woke up one morning with a heart so heavy for Guatemala. Being in Cambodia and still with a strong desire to be there longer term, I didn't really know why Guatemala was so heavy on my heart, but I began to pray, and in Spanish (I’m not really sure why, but I felt led to pray in Spanish). I thanked the Lord that I know how to speak some Spanish and I asked that I would be able to go back to Guatemala some day and use that Spanish again.

Little did I know that a few hours later, my life would change once again. That day I found out that the Cambodia location would be taking a break from sending IGNITE interns for a season; a phasing out in order to come back and serve in a greater capacity (as the Lord would will). I found out that I would be able to go to Montana for a month to assist in IGNITE Class 11's Re-Entry. – That was one answered prayer. IGNITE Class 11 has a special place in my heart and I had been praying for a while that I would be able to see all of them again during their re-entry. Not many of the staff or 2.O interns get to say they’ve witnessed an IGNITE Class (outside of their own) walk through all phases of the program (minus the interns home service); what a privilege and blessing.
At IGNITE Class 11's Re-Commissioning.
// April 27th, 2017 //
I also found out… *drum roll* …that I would be going BACK TO GUATEMALA to serve in a similar capacity as I was before and R.A. for IGNITE Class 13! –The other answered prayer, and within a few hours’ time. I knew God wasn’t done with me serving in Guatemala when I woke up that day, but I didn’t know the fullness of what that meant and how soon it would be.

I’ve already walked out the answered prayer of being in Montana this past month. It truly was an honor and a blessing to be with Class 11 again, to have heard how their field time went, and to have seen all that the Lord is doing in Montana. Now, I’m walking in the midst of that prayer for Guatemala; I just arrived back a few days ago. It’s like coming home (as it would be when I go to Colorado, Montana, or Cambodia; which gets me excited for heaven).

My heart is still so much for the Kingdom of Cambodia and what the Lord is doing there in and through the Khmer people, but I know Guatemala is where I’m supposed to be in this season. God knows what He’s doing and He is always faithful. He takes me on twists and turns that I never expect, but I wouldn’t have it any other way, because I know I’m in the center of His will …

“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9 

Back in Antigua, Guatemala.