Emotions Are Wavering

View from the girls' house at Potter's Field Ranch.

Emotions are so wavering, that’s why it’s so important to base our walk by faith, not feelings. As I look back at the beginning of July before IGNITE Class 15 came, I was so nervous and fearful. I was beginning a new role as the head girls’ RA and I knew I wasn’t capable. Sitting on the steps of the girls’ house at the new Potter’s Field Ranch, the Lord gave me Psalm 121:1-2, “I will lift my eyes to the hills – from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.” In that moment, I looked up at the mountains surrounding the property, a sight that never got old, and God gave me peace. He was with me, He is with me. The past three months were a time of learning, preparation, and growth. It was a sweet season, one that I will cherish for a long time; IGNITE Class 15 has a special place in my heart…

 

IGNITE Class 15 and some Potter's Field staff.

Today, I am in the Kingdom of Cambodia. God’s promises are yes and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20). I have the honor and privilege of overseeing the team that will come in two weeks from IGNITE Class 15, as well as being the Potter’s Field liaison for Cambodia! I’ve been back for almost a week; a rollercoaster of emotions it has been. Emotions are so wavering. I traveled alone and left just before the last week of IGNITE Class 15’s training. I simply miss everyone from Montana and Colorado too. But, Jehovah Shammah, the Lord is there and is my Companion. Despite the sometimes tears, God has taken me back to that day on the steps of the girls’ house before the interns’ training - where does my help come from? My Companion.

 

With Team Cambodia IGNITE Class 15!

He has reminded me of HIS faithfulness of being there, of the army I have in Colorado, Montana, and here in Cambodia behind me and with me, as I am for them. I am reminded that He has brought me back to the land He promised my return (several times in fact), and I still got to be a part of the interns who got baptized the other day and their Commissioning through video calls! Yes, emotions are wavering, but do I stand on those? No way. I stand on my Rock and the One who is there!

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned. Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…”

-Isaiah 43:2-3 (emphasis added)

God Moves When We Least Expect It

Winter in Montana.

A quiet season, Montana has been. I came back to the States expecting to just be, to just live, and to just help where the needs are - in MudMan and in Media. It is never a bad thing to desire; I hadn't any thoughts of anything else. As I wrote back in October - seek first the Kingdom.

Buy Local Serve Global.

Yet, I have seen the Lord use me in ways that I in myself cannot accomplish. {Glory be to God} Ways that I never would've expected, seeing how much I need to continuously feed on His Word, trust in His Spirit, and seek first His Kingdom. In the midst of working at MudMan and doing Media, I have been a girls house overseer.

The girls in the house I get to oversee.

Blinded by what was given to me, I still strove to make sure I had a place in this ministry, that I was accepted. I was run down by this. The Lord reminded me that I am firstly His daughter, to be just that, everything that comes after is a blessing He has given me to walk in. I was so sweetly reminded that I do have a place, to not strive to prove anything, that I do have a proven character by who the Lord has made me to be. In other words, to just be, seek first His Kingdom, and let the Holy Spirit use me. (I feel as though this has been a bunny trail in my writing, but I want others to know, the Lord has great plans for you, you don't need to try and prove anything, just seek Him and He will do the rest, when you least expect it...)

With a small part of the MudMan Crew.

When you least expect it...I didn't expect to be a girls house overseer when I came back to Montana, but the Lord did it. And with what's next, I didn't expect. The second week of March I will be traveling to Uganda, Africa to lead the IGNITE Class 14 girls team. And then I remembered. During my field time I had asked the Lord about leading a team of girls somewhere, so blessed by my leadership (and have applied such examples in my life today), I too wanted an opportunity to take those examples and lead in my own way as the Lord would lead.

Team Uganda Girls. (Left to right)
Me, Emily, Manon (who will be helping
me lead), Gabbi, & Kaydra.

Without really any other thought about leading a team, today I see the Lord fulfilling that desire that I had spoken with Him once about. And I see His ways of preparing me. From first coming back to the ministry, the severe humbling that needed to take place (and continual that is), to becoming an RA, to assisting in Cambodia, to a girls house overseer currently, now on to Uganda. The Lord knows the desires of our hearts. His ways are higher than ours. He moves when we least expect it. And He makes us ready, because right now, I feel as if I am not, but I know He is equipping me.