Friday, March 4, 2016

A Pilgrim

If I didn't move around, I wouldn't be here {again} witnessing interns lead
Guatemalan children in worship. "Santo, santo, santo, yo quiero verte".

            As I cozied down in my spot for my morning devotion and soaked in the glow of the sun, my mind was flooded with a ton of thoughts…realizations. I haven’t lived in a consistent place since July 2014, I’m always missing someone everywhere I go, and it takes a lot of faith to move around so much not knowing what’s fully next. These were all things I already knew, but it just hit me in a different way today, in a bad way, ways that brought me down instead of having confidence in the Lord. It was heavy and quite awful…BUT GOD.

            I began reading in Jeremiah chapter 48 and several verses stood out to me, they are slightly random, but God used them. “For because you have trusted in your works and your treasures, you also shall be taken. And Chemosh shall go forth into captivity, His priests and his princes together. … Cursed is he who does the work of the Lord deceitfully, and cursed is he who keeps back his sword from blood. … And Moab shall be destroyed as a people, because he exalted himself against the Lord." –Jeremiah 48:7, 10, 42

            I wrote: Brittani, why are you flooded with this fear and sadness all of a sudden? Yes, you miss your family and friends in Colorado, Cambodia, and Montana. Yes, you haven’t lived in a consistent home since July 2014. But you’re a pilgrim, homesick for God’s heavenly Kingdom (Hebrews 11:16). Let Him be your comfort. Don’t trust in your works or treasures, temporary things, trust in the Lord your God. Go forth in the work He has for you, faithfully, not deceitfully and on your own strength. He is calling you, do you trust Him in everything? You have the one step ahead of you (Psalm 119:105) and that’s all He will give you right now. Let nothing move you so you can finish your race and testify to the gospel of the grace of God (Acts 20:24). Yes, you’re jumping around, but that’s what He’s called you to do. Stay faithful! And how sweet is it that you do have your heart in so many places and that the Lord has allowed you to build so many relationships? Never get ahead of yourself, don’t let your flesh gain control, because you will exalt yourself before the Lord. I don’t desire to do that, the glory is and always will be the Lord’s.

            God even used some dear friends to speak to me and I don’t think they realized it, but that’s how you know it’s the Lord. They said (paraphrased), “you know there is always someone out there who is wishing they were doing what you were doing and vice versa.” And, “yeah and no one’s calling is greater.” Those things I already knew, but it just put things into perspective for me. I really am just a pilgrim making it to my heavenly home, I don’t need a consistent “home” here, Jesus is my home, my shelter, my center, and that’s all that should matter. The fact that He is calling me to do what I’m doing is amazing and I am not equipped, but God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called.

If I didn't move around, I would've never met Emily (right) in Montana and little did I know
she would be here in Guat. If I didn't move around, I would've never met Sara (middle) here
in Guat and I would've never had this sweet sisterhood with them.

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