The Two Agreed

Everyone always says, “when you know, you know.” And I was always like, “no, I don’t know!” Until now…

Brittani’s Story:

Khrang Thnong Village, Takeo Province 2014

[Some background]:

Khrang Thnong Village, Takeo Province 2014

The first time I came to Cambodia was October 2014. I immediately fell in love with the country, the people, the food, the way of living, really everything about it. I can’t pinpoint why except for the fact that God gave me a heart for the people and country. In that first season, I lived in Khrang Thnong village, Takeo Province for 6 months, October 2014-April 2015. I turned 20 years old while I was living in a little village in a little country in Southeast Asia. To this day, I will joke with Cambodians that I’m from Takeo; even some of the New Life Fellowship staff will joke with people that meet me and tell them I’m American but from there.

[My desires]:

A desire sparked up in me those beginning months; a desire that God most definitely put there, but I didn’t realize that until 5 years later. A desire to marry a Khmer man. At the time I was an intern in a disciple training school, having committed to no relationship for 1 year, and I was not interested in anyone in particular, but the desire was there. I also thought that would be impossible and I was a little crazy for desiring that (not even thinking about the amazing God I serve,) so I pushed that desire aside. 

Aloch Village, Kratie Province 2017

[Promises]:

As I went back to the States that first time, God put it on my heart that I was going to serve in Cambodia again. The years passed as I continued serving in that ministry, being sent here and there before being sent back to Cambodia. If you have followed my journey, then you know of God’s faithfulness in my life. I went back to Cambodia in October 2016 and lived in the capital city, Phnom Penh, for 6 months; October 2016-April 2017. I turned 22 in that season.

    Everyone knew my heart for Cambodia and always teased me that I would find a Khmer husband. I consistently replied, “I’m open to it, but I don’t think so.” As I was stepping into leadership roles in the ministry, I kept thinking, “How could I even marry a Khmer man, there’s really no one Khmer that works in this ministry too. It just can’t work.” There were some other factors (that I can share to you if you send me an email/personal message if you want to know) of things that I witnessed that I didn’t realize until later that were causing me to push this desire down and not be completely honest with myself, others, and God.

[Transparency and Freedom]:

Aling & Leehong's Wedding, Kompong Thom
Province January 2019

Fast forward to my third time in Cambodia, having spent a little over one year straight in Phnom Penh from September 2018-October 2019. I turned 24 in this season having spent my birthday as a bridesmaid in my Cambodian friend’s wedding. The bride was previously one of my roommates.       It was July 2019, I was journaling some verses God was putting on my heart after a very trying time. At the end I just felt in my heart that I needed to write this, although it had nothing to do with what I was originally writing about, I wrote, “And God I want to marry a Khmer man, but I trust You with my future husband.” It felt so freeing. It was the first time I was truly honest with myself and with the Lord about my desire.

My journal, July 2019 (my house flooded in 2020
so it may be hard to read)

     A few days later, my friend and teammate at the time), Ashlee, and I were at a New Life Fellowship staff meeting when we came upstairs before the rest of the staff and she asked if I liked anyone, just making sure I knew if I needed to get something off my chest, she’s here for me. I told her, making sure no one else was around to hear me, “No, but I just wrote in my journal that I want to marry a Khmer man.” Another moment of freedom. I just released it to myself and to God and now a friend. A little while later, the office began filling with the rest of the staff. One, in particular sat next to us this day. After a few minutes of small talk, Ashlee left to buy a coffee and I quietly opened my laptop to check my emails. The person sitting next to me, looked at me and said, “You want to marry a Khmer man, don’t you?” I looked around, shocked and replied, “Me?” He said, “Yeah.” Still shocked, I asked, “Um, I just shared that to Ashlee like 10 minutes ago, did you hear me?” He replied, “No, no one told me, I didn’t hear anything, I just think it and feel it,” pointing to his head and heart, “is it true?” I sheepishly replied, “Uh ye… yeah.” He continued with something like, “Yeah, since the first time I met you back in 2016 and we went on a mission together, I asked you what you’re doing here and your heart, I thought it since then. So, is it true?” Astonished still, yet I answered confidently, “Yes, it’s true.” He said, “Yeah, I think God wants you to pray about that.”

    It was like God saying, “My daughter, you have been honest with yourself, Me, and a friend. Your heart is ready; now I’m going to work and confirm this desire in ways you’ll never expect, because I put it in you, Brittani.”

[More Confirmation]:

Bong Rotha & Bong YeanYean
October 2019

I ended up sharing this desire and story quickly after with three of my bong srey (older sisters) that I love and respect dearly, all of which agreed and said amen to it, one of which has the gift of prophecy. When I told my prophetic sister, she said to me something like, “Oh, I know. I wanted to tell you a long time ago what God showed me about you marrying a Khmer man, Brittani, but every time I tried to bring the idea up to you, it seemed like you were not interested and didn’t want it.” I told her, “Yeah, because my heart was so not in the place to receive that and I wasn’t honest with others, God, and even myself.”

Bong Liep February 2015
(Because why not share a silly
old photo)

[If you are reading this and want someone with the spiritual gift of prophecy to prophesy over you personally, but have never had it happen, I encourage you to pray about it and ask the Lord to do it. He will! I did and He has given me many! Another one of which I will be sharing here shortly.]

[I’m going to share a little out of order of the timeline, but how God revealed things to me was kind of out of order of events, sounds weird, but you’ll see what I mean.] I went back to the Colorado for a furlough from October to December 2019. I traveled back to the Kingdom of Cambodia the end of December 2019 in time to celebrate the New Year, before everything went crazy with Covid.

Colorado October 2019

    Fast forward a bit to Cambodia, having turned 25 years old the beginning of January, I want to share from January 30th, 2020, when a pastor from Australia came and was ministering to my department of New Life Foundation, the NGO connected to New Life Fellowship. He met with each department and has the gift of prophecy. As God led him for me, he said this, “We thank You that there is just a bathing of the presence of God upon her life. We thank you that that anointing is deepening and You’ve taken her to the well. And there at the well, I thank You that she has put down the bucket. And that bucket is as in John 4; that bucket has gone deep into the Wellspring of Life, which is in Jesus. And she’s pulled up from the bucket just that refreshing water of Your Word, the water of Your Spirit, and just overflowing from Your throne room of grace into her life and refreshing and renewing her in this season. ‘For this will be a season of clarification for you,’ says the Lord, ‘this will be a season of just beginning to discover the purposes of God for your life.

Joining my old roommates wedding
January 2020

For I will bring alongside you the right person to journey with in that and together you will be able to walk close with me with one another for my purposes,’ says the Lord, ‘and there will be a unity in the vision and there will be a complimentary aspect to the giftings and even to the personalities.’ That’s just so beautiful to see the way that God knows every detail in our lives and He’s so gentle to just reveal enough to us, to reassure us, to guide us into His purposes, to protect us, and give us His peace. For the peace of the Lord will rest upon you. So, John 14:27, ‘My peace I give to you, I don’t give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or be afraid. For I am with you,’ says the Lord, ‘I’ll never leave you nor forsake you. For I am with you.’ We thank you, Jesus, we thank You for Emmanuel, God with Brittani. In the precious name of Jesus; we love You, Lord.”

   I cried this day and said yes and amen to this. At some point during this beginning time of 2020, my prophetic sister mentioned for me to wait until March, that she believes I will meet him in March.

[The beginning for Brittani]:

To's profile picture at the time I saw his profile
under "suggested friends."

    Going backwards a bit. One day in October 2019, back in Colorado, I was scrolling on Facebook checking on all my friends in Cambodia, when I hit the section that shows “Suggested Friends.” One person’s profile picture caught my attention: Ryvorto Dara. I quickly noticed that he had a lot of mutual friends most of which were my friends, friends that I actually hang out with, so I thought, “Who’s that? And how come I’ve never met him? I wonder if I will meet him when I go back?”

    Fast forward to the middle of January 2020, back in Cambodia. It was January 19th, 2020 I was at church with one of my roommates (of which is a cool God story how I met her) and I was introducing her to some of my friends. Standing just outside the church entryway talking, I looked up and saw him, Ryvorto Dara. I thought, “Hey, that’s the guy I saw on Facebook…Hey, he’s tall!”

Dinner the day we met. January 19th, 2020

I didn’t want to go up and introduce myself or anything, but I thought if one of my friends ended up bringing me over or something like that then I’ll talk to him. Well that ended up happening and a bunch of us went out for dinner afterwards.

Celebrating Chinese New Year January 2020

After that evening I thought, “Okay, Lord, I met him…I don’t know if that means anything, but interesting…”

He quickly became my friend and we began to hang out with our group of friends regularly. The month of February I remember I was rarely home with work and hanging out with everyone; it was a fun month before Covid really was defined as a pandemic. The beginning of February I went to Battambang province with many New Life Fellowship staff for 3 days, so upon returning home I asked my roommate how her time was while I was gone. Well, she ended up sharing that To took her out and told her that he liked her. As she was telling me the story, my initial emotions were sad and jealous… “Op, I really like this guy,” I realized. But as she continued talking she was clearly not interested, so I just laid those initial emotions down and talked to God about it, “Okay Lord, I have no idea, but I give this all to you and well he likes someone else, so I have a new friend, thank You for that.”

[Wait a minute…I thought he liked someone else]:

Just under two months went by when To started to chat me on telegram/messenger with what was clearly an interest. Maybe after a couple weeks or so of chatting I finally decided to ask him, “So I know you like my roommate, why are you talking to me like this?” I knew the whole story from her perspective and wanted to see what he would share. He truthfully shared the whole thing to me. In short, he took an interpreting of a dream he had from the Lord about his future wife from her and because she spoke of parts he hadn’t shared (of which God revealed to her to ask back), he thought it was about her and will tell you himself that he didn’t stop to pray about it and ask God. To shared how he quickly learned if you like someone by yourself, it can't go forward. He mentioned one thing while telling me this story that didn’t hit me until later, he said, “And I knew that you liked me.” At the end of his sharing he told me directly, “And I just want to tell you that I like you.” I told him I liked him too and we spent the next little over a month just getting to know each other more. To also shared that he remembers seeing me all the time in 2019 at church with the team that was with me before. I was so shocked by this because I had never seen him before at all. God definitely blinded my eyes from seeing him when I had the team with me and when my heart wasn't quite ready yet.

Hanging out with our friend, Naren. Stage of just
getting to know each other. April 2020

    A couple weeks after opening up about liking each other I realized what he had said, “And I knew that you liked me.” …Wait what? So, I asked him. He said, “I knew the day we met.” I asked him, “like that day at church?” He said, “Yeah.” I replied, so shocked, “What? How?!” And he said, “I think maybe God told me.” I said, still surprised, “Yeah, because we had just met how could you know that? And you wouldn’t know how I act when I like someone.” I was shocked. I didn’t even realize that I really liked him until later, meaning I didn’t know about my own feelings when we first met.

[Confirmation Through Devotion Time]:

"Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?"
-Amos 3:3 I later put some petals from the roses
when To proposed to me.

As we spent time just talking and getting to know each other, I did not want to pursue anything further than friendship with him, if he was not the one God had planned for me. It was in my personal devotion time in the Word, that God confirmed to me about To. I was reading in the book of Amos at the time; it was the day after To had shared that: "if you like someone by yourself, it can't go forward." That day I was reading chapter 3, when verse 3 jumped off the pages. "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" (Amos 3:3) I was overwhelmed by what I had just read, but still took more time to pray over it. I was afraid that I was taking the Word of God and just using it to fit in my own emotions and desires. I quickly learned that I was actually putting God in a box in reality thinking, "how could God confirm to me so quickly about this man that I barely know (but really like)?" So I came to the conclusion that God really did use His Word to confirm to me, remembering all the times He has done that to me so personally in the past using His Word.

[“Love So Much”]: 

Some of the "love so much"
comments. Hehe. End of April
or beginning of May 2020

Then, at the beginning of May he started to use words like, “Love so much,” over chat. And I finally was like, “what do you mean?” He replied, “I think you know, but I not yet tell you.” I ended up explaining to him that it was a cultural difference, how typically, Americans don’t say part of that word, they say all, directly, and when they are ready. Before I could finish telling him he didn’t have to say it until he was ready, he replied, “Okay, I will tell. I just want to say that I love you.” I about fell off my bed in excitement and all nerves when I read his message. I have never felt this way before about anyone nor have I said “I love you” to someone in this way. I began praying in excitement. It took me about 20 minutes (sorry, bong somlanh hehe) to compose myself, calm my nerves, and finally say it back. 

[Our Relationship]:

A little over a month into dating
June 2020

The next day, he started to use words like, “our relationship” and I was like, “what do you mean?” I went on to explain another cultural difference, how typically for Americans the guy usually asks the girl directly, “Will you be my girlfriend?” So, on May 6th, 2020 Da Raryvorto (his real full name) asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes! We initially told leadership, our families, and closets friends here (and my closest friends in the States) before sharing it to others, wanting to keep accountability in honoring God and our pastors here in Cambodia. Eventually most everyone of our friends and coworkers in Cambodia began to know about our relationship, followed by the USA and the world (I say like this because of all my friends all over the world; love you all.)

[God’s Further Sweet Confirmations]:

6 month dating anniversary date
November 6th, 2020

I was never the kind of girl to make "a list" of things she wanted in her future husband. That was, until the end of 2019 when God started to reveal things to me and I just knew something would happen in 2020; I realized I had absolutely no idea what I wanted in a husband. So I prayed and wrote some things down, purposing to not look at it again until God brought someone, and see what God would do. As I started my relationship with To, I saw how God brought everything on my list to fruition! All except "plays guitar," which I wrote at the bottom as a cool bonus, but did not care in the slightest if my future husband could play or not.

Exploring 7NG for Water Festival
Oct. 30, 2020

    I also saw God confirming through the prophecy I received in January of matching to the personality, but to the calling I wasn't quite seeing it yet...so I prayed a lot. One day we were talking on the phone when To randomly asked me what I wanted him to do (for a job.) I was surprised and didn't really want to just come out and say that I want him to serve God with me. (When we do anything for the Lord it's serving Him, but I know God has called me to be in the field of mission work and it has always been my desire to serve God in ministry with my future husband.) When I didn't answer he asked if I wanted him to be a policeman. I told him no, but asked if that's what he wanted. He said that he didn't want to do that either. When I still didn't answer his question he said, "well I think I know what you want me to do." Taken aback a bit, I was like, "really?" He proceeded to tell me, "Yes, Brittani wants me to serve God with her. I know clearly, God told me." I about dropped my phone in surprise and he continued, "and I know what you're going to say - 'how do you know?!'" I laughed and really asked him that, also thinking of when he told me that he "thinks maybe God told him that I liked him the day we met." He answered all of that with this, "No, I know, God told me then and He's telling me now - Brittani wants me to serve God with her."

I cried this day in awe of the Lord and His love for me, His child, to confirm to me in this way and blessed by the love I was (and have been) receiving from this amazing man.

[Birthday, Dating Anniversary, & Engagement]:

Proposal. January 6th, 2021

On January 6th, 2021, my 26th birthday and our 8-month dating anniversary, the love of my life proposed to me! You can follow this link to watch this amazing video our friend made of the beautiful night: Brittani & Ryvorto Wedding Proposal It was so romantic and I was so surprised and blessed to have such a gift as this. Surprised by all he did, yet suspected it (maybe I’ll write another blog of this later hehe.)

Everyone who came for my birthday & the
proposal. January 6th, 2021

[Thanks for Reading]:

I share this to you on May 6th, 2021, one year after we started dating, 4 months of engagement, and a little over 6 months until we get married. Yes, I share in faith that November 27th, 2021 is our planned wedding date in Cambodia. We trust and believe, Lord willing, God will work it all out from the paperwork, to the finances, to my family coming to Cambodia. Please join us in prayer for our wedding.

Thanks for reading!

Be Still

LOCKDOWN.

Every country does lockdowns differently. In Cambodia it's nighttime curfews, to a 2 week lockdown, to an extension of that lockdown, which really means it's indefinite. Getting your hopes up for the day they said it would be open again only to see the lockdown extended. Yellow, Orange, and Red Zones, different levels of lockdown based on the level of Covid-19 outbreak in that area.

Feeling a year behind the rest of the world, but Cambodia is just now having a major outbreak, so in lockdown we go, living in a virtual world. I am thankful for this virtual world, but this is still a pretty trying time...

Far from the States and my family. No problem, I'm used to that (still hard though, I miss them dearly) ...but not when I have to be in survival mode. Unlike last year when my house was filled with small gatherings at least 3 times a week, this year I see no one, not even my fiancé. Thankfully I have my roommates, but even then, they are both introverted, so I don't see them throughout the day a lot either.

Fear. All I feel is fear all around. Oh, for such a time of this to be the light of Jesus and let Him be peace for the people.

In this state of being uncomfortable, alone (but not alone because I have God,) and wanting to go a little crazy because my extroverted self needs some human contact, I am seeing Jehovah Jireh provide for me. I am seeing Him bringing me back to my first love. He is, after all, the only one who can comfort, satisfy, and love me in the way that I need, the One who loves and knows me the most, even more than I know myself.

I've been slowed down. Pulled out and "alone" to be reminded, He is all I need.

"Be still, Brittani," I hear the Lord saying, "and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with you; the God of Jacob is your refuge. Selah" (Psalm 46:10-11 personalized with my name & you/your instead of us/our)

The balcony of my house. My new favorite spot to
spend time with Jesus.

As I'm relearning to be still and know that He is God, I've seen myself go deeper with the King of my heart, cling to the hope of His Word, and spend immense amounts of times with Him. I even went back to writing in my journal. These writing have turned into the pouring out of my heart and prayers. I used to write like this all time time, but I had stopped for awhile. I believe this has to do with the location I chose to do my devotions. My fiancé encouraged me to sit outside on the balcony so I could get a taste of a little bit of nature with the birds chirping, butterflies fluttering, blue skies, white puffy clouds, and beautiful Cambodian sunsets. I didn't realize how much I needed it and needed to change my atmosphere so I could really learn to be still with my Lord.

Be still. Jesus is the answer.

A Passport Miracle

Wednesday December 18th, 2019

7:35am - Arrival at the Colorado Passport Agency

Six people were already there waiting when I stepped out of the elevator, but I didn't care, I was prepared to wait the whole day to get my passport renewed if I needed to. Shortly after I arrived, the guard told us the doors would be opening soon and to form a line along the wall in order of when we stepped off the elevator. The doors opened at 8am, which was my "scheduled" appointment. The scheduling is just to be able to get in, but the time ultimately doesn't matter because you have to wait in line to go through security, wait in line to get a number, and finally wait for you number to be called. Many more people trickled in after me before the doors were even open.

8:00am - The Doors Open

The guard begins letting people in one at a time to begin going through security. I go through the doors pretty quickly, eager to get a number and expectant in the Lord. I walk up to the window, show my paperwork, and the kind lady gives me a number. I proceed to sit down and one minute later, my number was called. The employee collects my paperwork and old passport and I pay the fee. She tells me, "the soonest I can have this ready is Friday December 20th at 2:00pm!" Overwhelmed with the Lord's goodness, I tell her, "okay, great, " and I find out all I have to do is come back to pick it up in two days...

8:10am - Down 6 Floors and Out by the Car

By 8:10am, I was back in the car, just in awe. I backed out of the parking space and began driving back home. As I was driving, I was listening to "Way Maker" and "Your Will, Your Way," as tears began to roll down my cheeks. God just worked a miracle! God. Is. Good. God. Is. Faithful. I am so underserving, but so loved by Him. And I just love my Father.

Friday December 20th, 2019

2:00pm - Arrival at the Colorado Passport Agency

I hopped on the elevator just so excited to pick up my new passport. I went through security quickly, waited in line behind a couple of people, and walked up to the window. The employee took my ticket and came back with my old passport and fresh one ready to use for travel!

2:15pm - Down 6 Floors and Out by the Car

Just like that I had my renewed passport! I made sure I applied for the one with more pages this time, so I won't end up the same problem of running out of visa pages before my passport even expires. I just sang in the car to the Lord all the way home.

"You've been faithful through every storm. You'll be faithful forevermore. You have done great things. And I know You will do it again, for Your promise is 'Yes and Amen.' You will do great things. God, You do great things..." - Great Things by Phil Wickham

Thank you to all who have been praying for me! God is good. God really made a way, worked a miracle, and is keeping His promise again. Cambodia here I come!

Your will, Your Way...Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper

This "pray" ring a dear friend gave to me & it reminds me daily to be praying.

Back in the States, just over two months now; the first month and a half was so refreshing, seeing my family for the first time in almost a year and a half and touching base with friends that I wasn’t sure when or if I would see them again. Freezing cold, fallen snow, hopped over to beach towns, long mornings with Jesus and coffee. Pure rest. Thank You, Lord.

During this time of rest, I was also just waiting. Oh yeah…I forgot what that felt like…how much of a “microwave” generation I come from; waiting is hard. As time was getting closer to desired departure dates of my return to Cambodia (oh surprise, in case you didn't know that was happening, but are you really surprised? Haha. (More details of how and where to come.)), I got a little overwhelmed. Nothing was ready for me to go. Once I realized I can move forward in a different direction, I had to wait a little longer. This was just a couple weeks ago at the beginning of December.

One morning I literally woke up with so much stress, just worrying how everything was going to come together. I sat in the living room, looking at my family’s stockings above the fire place and I began to pray. I prayed for them and so many other people and I was flooded with peace. Doing this changed the trajectory of my whole day and the Lord reminded me in that moment to get my eyes off myself.

My family's Christmas stockings above the fireplace.

A few days later I got the go ahead to move forward and within a few days after that I was set up. (Praise the Lord!) Hmm some of this looks familiar – back in 2015 it was once I realized my motives and let go, that God moved and granted my desires. But I’ll talk about that a little later.

Just yesterday I woke up thinking about my passport and wondered (again because I had already wondered this when I first came back to the States...) if I would be able to use it. I became flooded with fear as I opened the internet on my phone to begin researching about passports. I quickly found out that the extra pages I thought I had were not meant for visas. I need to renew my passport. Oh no and I want to leave the end of December.

Stressed yet again first thing in the morning, I sat in my room and just cried, “I don’t understand. Why, Lord? Just when everything was moving forward.” I listened to two songs: “Way Maker” sung by Leeland and “Your Will, Your Way” by Bryan and Katie Torwalt. Just bawling, I cried, “Lord I need a miracle. You are the Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the darkness…but Your will, Your way. Do whatever You want to. Come move, come reign. Let Your Kingdom invade my heart…”

Calming down in the presence of my Father, I realized a couple things. First, had I not woken up thinking about my passport the way I did, I probably would’ve got denied entry into Cambodia and would’ve had to figure out a way back. I completely believe God put the passport on my heart for me to realize; to protect me, not scare me. Second, why am I going back to Cambodia anyway? Yeah, I want to celebrate the New Year there. Yeah, I want to attend my friend’s wedding there. Yeah, I want to celebrate my birthday there. And well, I need to pay the rent in January there. -All the end of December into early January. But it’s NOT ABOUT ME. I’m not going back to Cambodia for me, I’m going back to Cambodia because God has called me there (I just happened to really love it there) to serve and love on His people.

Surrendering, I came to conclusion, “if I don’t get to bring in the New Year there or attend my friend’s wedding or celebrate my birthday that that’s okay. Lord, just help me figure out how I will do rent, and I know that You’ll bring me back eventually.” Wiping the tears away and just filled with His presence, I opened the Word and one of the chapters I began reading was 1 Samuel 15. Verse 22 reads, “So Samuel said: ‘Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams.” Hmm looks familiar – again that same thing the Lord taught me back in 2015. (Read my blog from 2015 if you would like to: http://rejoiceindivineromance.blogspot.com/2015/11/obedience-over-sacrifice.html) In reading this, I am just seeing the Lord remind me to go out simply because I love Him and He’s called me, to trust Him with all and know He’s in control.

Afterwards, I began researching ways to get my passport renewed fast. There’s a way! Thank You, Lord! I have an appointment next week to expedite my passport to get it renewed quickly. With this, I need proof of travel in less than 2 weeks, so last night I booked my plane ticket in faith to depart Colorado December 28^th, knowing that if it does not get done in time, He’ll provide the funds to change the ticket or that He can indeed work a miracle and my passport will get renewed before I have to depart. And you know what, I have faith that He will get it renewed in time, because He is the Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the darkness. When I can’t see it, He’s working and He already lined up so much for me to be able to leave the end of December. His past faithfulness requires my present trust.

I write this just smiling, because I thought I already learned all this “letting go” stuff…I tell ya, it’s easy to pick it back up again, but I was so sweetly reminded of this and shown God’s faithfulness yet again so far and I know He’ll do it again with this passport situation. Once you really do let go, God really does move mightily, work miracles, fulfill promises (I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it), and is faithful to complete what He started.

Prey Ta Chap, Kompong Spue, Cambodia.

One Year

It was a year ago the other night that I landed back in Cambodia. God’s promises are yes and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20 (២ កូរិនថូស ១ : ២០)) I wish I could put into words how amazing God is and the love that He has for me (and for you if you are reading this.) One of my favorite questions to ask people when I interview them about something is, “if you could describe (fill in the blank) in one word, what would it be and why?” So, if I could describe this past year in one word, what would it be and why? It would be easy for me to pick a word like, “love,” “faithful,” “promises,” or “sweet,” because of God’s promises, love, and faithfulness or the sweet family I have here, but I would describe this past year as “learn.”

Although I will always be learning my whole life and I look forward to soaking up more of God’s word, learning about Him more, and how I can grow as a person, I have learned so much this past year that I believe will take me deeper into God’s calling for my life and my walk with Him. I have been learning both spiritual and practical things; what it is to be a leader, to be bold, to speak gently, to slow down, to fear the Lord and not man, how to budget, listening to and speaking the Khmer language, and so much more.

Over this season there have been some trials, but it’s in those valleys that the mountains come forth and honestly where the most growth occurs. God has taken me deeper and shown me the importance of walking with eyes only for Him, to glorify Him, and to not look to the left or right, but to press on toward the upward call. “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; but we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” -Psalm 20:7 “No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier.”

-2 Timothy 2:4

This has been the longest I’ve been away from the US in one consecutive time and I haven’t been back in Colorado since June 2018. In the past, I would have a hard time leaving Cambodia because I just didn’t want to leave. I still don’t want to leave because I love my family here and this country so much, but this time it’s not going to be as hard; I know how much I will need this season coming up. I am really looking forward to seeing my family, resting, being able to process things, and see people I haven’t seen in a while. The enemy is definitely trying to attack with fear of not being able to come back. God has taken me through seasons of leaving often, but has brought me back every time (២ កូរិនថូស ១ : ២០); He is faithful, so I will not let Satan in! I’m eager to be rejuvenated and refreshed to come back to Cambodia soon and start a new season. See you shortly family and Colorado! See you later Cambodia!