Your will, Your Way...Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper

This "pray" ring a dear friend gave to me & it reminds me daily to be praying.

Back in the States, just over two months now; the first month and a half was so refreshing, seeing my family for the first time in almost a year and a half and touching base with friends that I wasn’t sure when or if I would see them again. Freezing cold, fallen snow, hopped over to beach towns, long mornings with Jesus and coffee. Pure rest. Thank You, Lord.

During this time of rest, I was also just waiting. Oh yeah…I forgot what that felt like…how much of a “microwave” generation I come from; waiting is hard. As time was getting closer to desired departure dates of my return to Cambodia (oh surprise, in case you didn't know that was happening, but are you really surprised? Haha. (More details of how and where to come.)), I got a little overwhelmed. Nothing was ready for me to go. Once I realized I can move forward in a different direction, I had to wait a little longer. This was just a couple weeks ago at the beginning of December.

One morning I literally woke up with so much stress, just worrying how everything was going to come together. I sat in the living room, looking at my family’s stockings above the fire place and I began to pray. I prayed for them and so many other people and I was flooded with peace. Doing this changed the trajectory of my whole day and the Lord reminded me in that moment to get my eyes off myself.

My family's Christmas stockings above the fireplace.

A few days later I got the go ahead to move forward and within a few days after that I was set up. (Praise the Lord!) Hmm some of this looks familiar – back in 2015 it was once I realized my motives and let go, that God moved and granted my desires. But I’ll talk about that a little later.

Just yesterday I woke up thinking about my passport and wondered (again because I had already wondered this when I first came back to the States...) if I would be able to use it. I became flooded with fear as I opened the internet on my phone to begin researching about passports. I quickly found out that the extra pages I thought I had were not meant for visas. I need to renew my passport. Oh no and I want to leave the end of December.

Stressed yet again first thing in the morning, I sat in my room and just cried, “I don’t understand. Why, Lord? Just when everything was moving forward.” I listened to two songs: “Way Maker” sung by Leeland and “Your Will, Your Way” by Bryan and Katie Torwalt. Just bawling, I cried, “Lord I need a miracle. You are the Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the darkness…but Your will, Your way. Do whatever You want to. Come move, come reign. Let Your Kingdom invade my heart…”

Calming down in the presence of my Father, I realized a couple things. First, had I not woken up thinking about my passport the way I did, I probably would’ve got denied entry into Cambodia and would’ve had to figure out a way back. I completely believe God put the passport on my heart for me to realize; to protect me, not scare me. Second, why am I going back to Cambodia anyway? Yeah, I want to celebrate the New Year there. Yeah, I want to attend my friend’s wedding there. Yeah, I want to celebrate my birthday there. And well, I need to pay the rent in January there. -All the end of December into early January. But it’s NOT ABOUT ME. I’m not going back to Cambodia for me, I’m going back to Cambodia because God has called me there (I just happened to really love it there) to serve and love on His people.

Surrendering, I came to conclusion, “if I don’t get to bring in the New Year there or attend my friend’s wedding or celebrate my birthday that that’s okay. Lord, just help me figure out how I will do rent, and I know that You’ll bring me back eventually.” Wiping the tears away and just filled with His presence, I opened the Word and one of the chapters I began reading was 1 Samuel 15. Verse 22 reads, “So Samuel said: ‘Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams.” Hmm looks familiar – again that same thing the Lord taught me back in 2015. (Read my blog from 2015 if you would like to: http://rejoiceindivineromance.blogspot.com/2015/11/obedience-over-sacrifice.html) In reading this, I am just seeing the Lord remind me to go out simply because I love Him and He’s called me, to trust Him with all and know He’s in control.

Afterwards, I began researching ways to get my passport renewed fast. There’s a way! Thank You, Lord! I have an appointment next week to expedite my passport to get it renewed quickly. With this, I need proof of travel in less than 2 weeks, so last night I booked my plane ticket in faith to depart Colorado December 28^th, knowing that if it does not get done in time, He’ll provide the funds to change the ticket or that He can indeed work a miracle and my passport will get renewed before I have to depart. And you know what, I have faith that He will get it renewed in time, because He is the Way Maker, Miracle Worker, Promise Keeper, Light in the darkness. When I can’t see it, He’s working and He already lined up so much for me to be able to leave the end of December. His past faithfulness requires my present trust.

I write this just smiling, because I thought I already learned all this “letting go” stuff…I tell ya, it’s easy to pick it back up again, but I was so sweetly reminded of this and shown God’s faithfulness yet again so far and I know He’ll do it again with this passport situation. Once you really do let go, God really does move mightily, work miracles, fulfill promises (I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it), and is faithful to complete what He started.

Prey Ta Chap, Kompong Spue, Cambodia.